Home » Toddler and ‘threenager’ tantrums to make you laugh out loud

Toddler and ‘threenager’ tantrums to make you laugh out loud

Tantrums are a right pain in the arse, aren’t they?

We’ve all heard of the terrible twos, but why the f*ck did nobody tell me about the whole THREENAGER thing?

I literally want to headbutt the kitchen counter over and over again at times, (which actually might be why my three year old is like he is…) they are so bad.

Since turning three in the summer, I’m sure my eldest son has developed a not so mild form of schizophrenia. He’s like THE loveliest person at times. Tells me he loves me constantly, always wants a cuddle, is polite, asks how I am, tells me he likes my new (stripey) top. All the important things, you know.

Then something switches and he is like a boy POSSESSED! Screaming, crying, shouting, arms flailing, generally lying on the floor or throwing toys around. It’s literally like the end of the world. The tantrums are insane. Five minutes later, he’s back in the room again and telling me he loves me and wants a cuddle.

What. The. Actual. F*ck???

I tell myself this is totally normal for a three year old, tantrums is what they do, and they’re not called threenagers for nothing. But oh my god, it’s so frustrating, isn’t it?

At home it’s all fine. We have a detached house, I doubt if the neighbours can hear and feel the need to call the police. Unless it’s summer and it’s taking place in the garden, of course. Luckily one set are old and hopefully more than a little bit deaf.

It’s when I’m in public that a little bit of me dies inside. We all know the supermarket is the stereotypical tantrum-inducing scenario, but it’s so true!

Because he wants to look at the toys but we’re in a rush. Because he wants the Chad Valley roaring dinosaur but I won’t let him. Because he wants the werewolf Halloween costume (complete with full head mask that would be on for approximately 5 seconds) and I’ll only buy him a £4.50 skeleton t.shirt. Because he wants a crappy Cbeebies or Peppa magazine, purely for all the free shit on the front and I say no. Our house is full of free magazine shit, and the accompanying magazines that never even glanced at.

And don’t get me wrong. Sometimes I realise I need to pick my battles, and when he is on the floor making a scene over a £30 PJ Masks toy, I rightly or wrongly buy him a 10p bag of Haribo instead (I’m all heart me).

But it’s just all so EMBARRASSING, isn’t it?

I’m a firm believer that when you’re in public and they kick off, other people are actually watching the parent and how they react rather than the child. You see kids throwing tantrums all the time, it’s nothing new. But I have to say I do feel myself wince inside if the parent stands there shouting back at them. But each to their own. I can’t claim to never lose my shit. I do it daily when I’m tired and my buttons are pressed for the 59th time that day. I just try not to do it in public (too often), but nobody is perfect.

Usually you get a sympathetic look from fellow parents, or nicer still, a lovely comment from a supportive old lady. I even had a shop assistant come over to me the other day and tell me she thought I’d dealt with the tantrum brilliantly, which was exactly what I needed when I was trying to hold it together.

But in the last month when I’ve been dealing with a screaming threenager whilst out and about, I’ve encountered a few negative comments – one old man saying he deserved a smack, and one younger person saying that’s why they don’t have children.

NOT HELPFUL THANK YOU! (that was the polite response)

I tell myself when he kicks off that it’s all just a phase and it won’t last forever. I tell myself he is strong willed and can be moody – just like me so how can I expect anything else! I also tell myself this will be a trait that will come in handy when he’s bossing it in an amazing job in 30 years’ time.

And let’s face it, sometimes you can’t help but laugh at them and their tantrums. (Although apparently laughing in their face doesn’t help the situation). They have a meltdown for such hilarious and unnecessary reasons. 

Read how my friend Carly from Mom of Two Little Girls handled her ‘surprise threenager‘. We’re not alone!

  • His friends stick was longer than his
  • I accidentally dropped the empty toilet roll holder into the sink and got it slightly wet
  • His Milky Way mini bar wasn’t as long as an elephant’s trunk
  • His baby brother saw the cows out the car window and he didn’t
  • He can’t hear the iPad when I blow dry my fringe (for 20 seconds) every morning

I’m so glad I have two more children bringing up the rear who will hit the tantrum stage at the same time. Wine anyone?


I asked my lovely Facebook followers why their children have a meltdown. This lot made me laugh out loud!

  • RACHAEL HEDGES: Today my child had a tantrum because we wouldn’t let her ride her balance bike into traffic.
  • EMMA DART: I avoided a tantrum by letting Eric keep his pyjama top on all day – choose your battles!
  • LAURA TURNER:  Today my toddler had a paddy because his yoghurt fell on the floor after he pushed it off the table.
  • CHLOE ROWLAND: Today my toddler had a tantrum because he ‘isn’t called Zach.’ (He’s called Zach)
  • SAMMI WYETT: Today my toddler had a tantrum because we dropped the dog off at the vet.
  • DAWN JAMIESON: Today and every day my toddler tantrums because he likes to pick his favourite song to play over and over (I secretly don’t mind a bit of George Ezra).
  • AMANDA WHYMARK: Theo didn’t like the top I chose for him to wear.
  • LIBO CLARK: My three year old went mad because I cut his bread into triangles instead of squares. He asked for squares.
  • AMII MEDWAY:  Because he had to sit properly on his chair to eat his breakfast. Because he had to get dressed. Because I wouldn’t carry him. Because he had to put socks on. Because his tea wasn’t ready. I could go on!
  • SIAN ESK ABNETT:  Darren threw a paddy because his drink was empty.
  • NICK COPSON:  Because HE wanted to flush the toilet, not me. Every single time!
  • ANNA MILLER: My twin toddler had a tantrum because she wanted the spoon that her twin sister had. It was one major tantrum and clearly the end of the world for a three year old.
  • LIANNE HARRIS: I couldn’t sit in his baby brother’s seat. I wouldn’t play his assistant when imitating Rylan in Big Brother’s bit on the side (he’s only two) I gave him the milk that he just asked me for.
  • MICHELLE LETTS: Tonight’s three year old tantrum was because I gave him two bourbon biscuits instead of three! This morning’s tantrum was because I took the brioche out of the packet but he wanted to take it out once opened.
  • CHARLOTTE MARSH: Because there was no cereal left in his bowl. Because he didn’t want his cup on his tray. Because he wanted his cup back. Because he didn’t want to get dressed or have his jacket on. Usually if I don’t give him a biscuit for each hand that results in a major meltdown. (I feel he’s got a point about a balanced diet though.)
  • KATIE SKELTON: She wanted to watch the Shaun the Sheep movie “UNTIL THE END WHEN THE SHEEP IS WITH THE HOOOOOOVER”. Oh and because she wasn’t allowed to take some gravel from the nursery car park home with her.
  • MO JO VICKERS: Because he had to get dressed! Seems to be a popular one.
  • CAROLINE FREATHY: My eldest got cross that we wouldn’t go his preferred route at Saltram (National Trust property), so cried, refused to move and then when he did, wailed that “he wished he had different parents!” I explained that we were trying to avoid walking along the road so we didn’t need to worry about getting in the way of cars or at worst being hit, and this way meant we could enjoy the view etc, to which he screamed totally beside himself now “I’d rather get hit by a car” and “this path is sooo dangerous there are stinging nettles EVERYWHERE!
  • LAURA JANE HARRIS:  Because I refused to watch the Lion King for the THIRD time in a row. We settled on Moana. Again.
  • CLAIRE ELIZABETH: Because two stories before bed wasn’t enough. It took another three to finally get him to go to bed.
  • KIRSTIN BROWN:  Because he doesn’t want to get dry after his bath, but doesn’t want to be wet. Because he threw his cutlery off the table but wants it. Because he wanted the bowl with the Bob the Builder on (he had the bowl with Bob the Builder on).
  • DOING MOM THINGS: He didn’t like his colour of water bottle.
  • KATE WARD:  My four year old sobbed because he didn’t have liver disease like his big brother. Didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
  • DEE HURLEY:  Because three toy pushchairs between three children isn’t enough. Wrong coloured cup saga, and I drew a triangle with honey on her cereal and not a spiral.
  • NICOLE ARSIWALA: Just because. Sometimes there really is no reason. It’s just a mix of hunger, tiredness, not getting what they want and the fact that toddlers can sometimes be dickheads.
  • MELISSA LEMON:  Harrison had a tantrum once in some public toilets as I only needed a wee and not a poo! Safe to say we left very promptly without making eye contact with anyone!
  • KATE EVANS: Because I made her spit out the five Lego heads she’d managed to steal from her brother and promptly put in her mouth for safekeeping.
  • VICTORIA GLASS:  He took a massive spoonful of his breakfast, revealed the bottom of his bowl in that spot and the world came to an end! Just need to find somewhere that sells bottomless bowls.
  • BECCIE JONES: My four year old had a tantrum because his pizza wasn’t oval-shaped!
  • LEANNE SCHUTTKACHER: He wanted me to buy him new hands as his hands are too small! The only way to calm him down was by pretending to order him a new pair online.

What are the funniest reasons your child has had a tantrum?



Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee


Want more?

Did you like this blogpost? Have a squiz at some of my other posts while you’re here. You might like – The good, bad and ugly bits about the first year with three children under three or – The love/hate relationship between toddler and baby twins.

Or if you fancy a bit of social media madness, pop over to my Facebook page where you’ll be able to have a laugh at what ridiculousness goes on in my house with three very small boys on a daily basis. Warning – there is often sarcasm, and usually swearing. Feel free to join in though. There are also great travel reviews and some AWESOME giveaways. And if you fancy sharing your own funnies, come and join my Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee – Shits and Giggles Parenting Group on Facebook.

If you like what you see, how about you check me out on PinterestInstagram and Twitter too. I’m all over the place!

And if you want to work with me, feel free to give me a shout here, and I’ll get back to you during naptime/screentime (!)

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Jemma 20/10/2018 - 7:31 am

Very funny! Enjoyed this!

Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee 22/10/2018 - 11:38 pm

Thanks Jemma!

Claire | The ladybirds adventures 20/10/2018 - 7:33 am

You do have to laugh! We’ve had tantrums over the little one looking at her big sister before now! My 5 year old cried in the supermarket because I wouldn’t buy her a fingerling toy for being good in school. They get less frequent but tantrums aren’t just for toddlers unfortunately.

Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee 22/10/2018 - 11:39 pm

Something to look forward to!

Caroline 20/10/2018 - 7:36 am

So true!! I have a just 4 year old who is slowly growing out of this and a 2.5 year old who is quickly growing into this!!

Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee 22/10/2018 - 11:39 pm

Just when you thought you’d gave a bit of a break!

Jen 20/10/2018 - 9:25 am

I love this! I have a threenager too! I loved this – He wanted me to buy him new hands as his hands are too small!

Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee 22/10/2018 - 11:39 pm

That’s my favourite too!

Gill {of jamjargill.com} 21/10/2018 - 12:42 am

Oh man – I don’t look forward to this x2… It is starting to start as my boys reach almost 2 though and I do find myself laughing at them at times. End of the day they need to learn when they’re being irrational but we all get to do that sometimes – life is all a bit much sometimes after all… Love the idea listing out the funniest ones from all your followers… it does make everyone know its all so so normal! xx

Rachael 22/10/2018 - 7:56 pm

Hahaha! I remember the threenage years well! What joys I have to look forward to with Oscar in a few years; can’t wait to go through it all again… ugh!

Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee 22/10/2018 - 11:41 pm

I know! I’m already dreading the twins reaching this stage!

Unmindfulmama 03/11/2018 - 6:36 pm

Yup, ‘they’ certainly keep quiet about the threenager thing. Buggers. Thought after year two was wrapping up I’d be on solid ground, but nope. Hilarious and so reassuring I’m not the only one. I feel like I’m in frickin crazy land half the time!

Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee 03/11/2018 - 7:54 pm

Ha ha me too – most of the time!

ian 19/02/2019 - 8:17 am

I won’t tell you that it doesn’t get any better…….. My lot are 12,11 & 8 now and the tantrums still visit. Although it is mainly me having them. #ItsOK

Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee 19/02/2019 - 8:31 am

Don’t tell me that, Ian! But yes I agree, I think I have just as many as him. Dreading the twins hitting the tantrum stage!

Kate - The Mum Conundrum 21/02/2019 - 6:51 am

Oh I do love reading about other kids’ tantrums… It’s amazing how much funnier it is when they’re not my kids! BTW Phoebe still has a penchant for storing lego and other choke-fest items in her mouth when she thinks I’m going to make her give them to me…. Her current tantrum MO is a full blown meltdown every time she notices her sippy cup is less than completely full, which means that I give her a drink, she takes a gulp or two, and then goes balistic because she needs more drink as it’s no longer full. Fun times… #ItsOK

Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee 21/02/2019 - 2:45 pm

Ha ha, brilliant. Love the sippy cup tantrum. Did she pick that up from you with your wine glass?? #ItsOK

Neil 21/02/2019 - 1:07 pm

Loved reading g this. Ah the threenager memories! I’m afraid it doesn’t seem to stop there. My six year old daughter despite having pizza for tea and explaining we couldn’t have pasta bake that night had a meltdown later in the evening when she realised she wasn’t eating pasta bake that day…..#ItsOK

Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee 21/02/2019 - 2:42 pm

Brilliant! I’m so pleased to hear it’s not going to stop any time soon 🙂

Carly 22/02/2019 - 4:56 pm

I hate to be the one to tell you this, but just wait for the f*cking fours! My fournado did a serious number on my sanity and therefore my liver!
I swear everyone who knows it gets worse just keeps it a secret from those who don’t know yet!
Good luck my friend, see you in the other side!

Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee 22/02/2019 - 7:40 pm

My God I’m not sure I can cope with it getting any worse!!

Jacqui 24/02/2019 - 12:09 pm

Wait my dear friend, oh just wait until you hit the F*#&$$ fours!!! 🙂 Sometimes, I wish that I could just lie on the floor at work and have a fullblown meltdown 🙂 It must feel great to get it all out!!! haha! Oh wait, I see that Carly just mentioned the 4’s… We will be here for you, glass of wine in hand! #itsok

Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee 24/02/2019 - 3:46 pm

I’m going to hold you to that, both of you!!

Crummy Mummy 25/02/2019 - 10:33 pm

Three is definitely worse than two! Then there’s the fournage years – then they start school thank goodness! #itsok

Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee 25/02/2019 - 10:58 pm

I definitely agree three is worse than two. By a mile! But now I’m starting to worry about four 🙂 Luckily he’ll only be four for three months then off to school!

Ruth - Mummy and the Mexicans 04/03/2019 - 4:52 am

I think my daughter was a late bloomer… The threes were OK, but at four nearly five she has had some serious meltdowns, usually because I tell her to stop doing something, or she has the tiniest of miniscule cuts on her finger and its suddenly the end of the world. She’s become a drama queen! #itsok

Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee 04/03/2019 - 11:55 pm

They all seem to love a bit of drama don’t they? 🙂

Shona 01/12/2019 - 5:08 pm

Thank you for writing this! I have a 3 year old and twin 2 year olds…all boys. Sometimes I feel like my days are utterly consumed with dealing with tantrums! Reading this makes me feel like I am not alone and that my children aren’t the worst in the world! More power to you!

Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee 01/12/2019 - 9:24 pm

You’re definitely not alone! The tantrums can be insane, can’t they?!


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