Home twins Will I ever ‘nip’ anywhere again?

Will I ever ‘nip’ anywhere again?

Remember those days when you would pick up your bag, phone and keys – and walk straight out the front door?

Are those days really gone forever the second you have kids? We’ve all seen the Michael McIntyre sketch about how long it takes to get everyone ready, and it’s so true!

Having one kid means a big adjustment is needed in the art of house-leaving. Anymore than that and I literally don’t know how people do it.

And don’t even get me started on how people with babies manage to do the school run or get their offspring into childcare. Every single morning, when I’m still upstairs wrestling an infant into a vest at 9am, I think to myself that you’re all bloody wonder women (and vow I’ll get my act together in time for Toddler’s introduction into the education system). 

When he was tiny I somehow got into a routine relatively quickly and I don’t remember ever being ALWAYS late for things (my friends may recall it differently I suppose). But f*ck me, this time round I CANNOT GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!

Toddler has always had a better social life than me, so we are out at different groups or playdates every morning. I didn’t want this to change when the Twins came along – and thought they would just have to be carted to and fro to everything Toddler did, which is how we tend to roll.  

What I’d not quite envisaged was how bloody long it takes to get everyone ready in the morning. How do you Mums of four or five children do it? I take my hat off to you! I remember one morning it taking FOUR hours from me waking up to getting Toddler to his swimming lesson. FOUR HOURS, FFS? I’m going to need some serious advice from the school-run experts when my time comes or Toddler will be expelled for lateness!

Put simply, my biggest problem is the babies, and the fact there are bloody two of them. You don’t have to be Einstein to figure out everything takes twice as long. Apart from feeding them at the same time, I can’t do anything else simultaneously. Sometimes it feels like flipping Groundhog Day, burping, wiping, changing, dressing, changing again cos they’ve just shat in the clean nappy – all twice.

But the thing I didn’t seem to (and still don’t) allow for is the whole rigmarole of getting in and out of the car.

Shit. The. Bed.

I wonder whether it’s even bloody worth it most mornings – I work up a sweat practically body slamming Toddler into his seat, and then traipsing back into the house (TWICE obviously) to get a baby in a car seat. Thank God for isofix bases, that’s all I can say. Then back in again to get my ‘twin’ nappy bag, which can only be described as the size of a not-even-small suitcase, with all the crap I seem to take everywhere. More often than not, I’ve forgotten something desperately important like Toddler’s toy diplodocus or a corn on the cob from his plastic shopping basket he just HAS to hold on the car journey.

Every single day I think I can nail it in five minutes. Even getting everyone into coats/shoes/hats/blankets seems to take me longer than is humanly possible, FFS. And I’m not forgetting those (not infrequent) times when Twin One does a cheeky shit in the car seat and needs a full-on hose-down. Or Twin Two chucks up his entire bottle all over him, me and the carpet. It’s like they KNOW…

But what’s even more annoying than getting everyone in the car, is getting everyone OUT of the car the other end.

More often than not it’s taken me longer to set off than I actually spend driving. Then it starts. The ‘GET ME OUT!!” from Toddler, within seconds of me pulling into a parking space. He has to be the last to be ‘released’ from what he clearly sees as torture, or he’d run off and be knocked down instantly.

To be fair to him, the time it takes to put together a sodding double travel system complete with two babies, is even longer than five journeys in and out of the house. Don’t even get me started on f*cking carry cots. Has any baby in the history of the world EVER liked being in a carry cot?

None of mine, that’s for sure. But because we feel guilty about them being in a car seat for too long, we use them anyway.

Or at least I did, for about 6 days before I couldn’t bear the protests from Toddler anymore, and decided I needed to cut the whole car routine down from what felt like three hours to actually a nifty 17 minutes. Speedy, eh? Thank God he’s got that corn on the cob to keep him entertained.

I sometimes wonder if it’s even bloody worth it but then I think of the alternative – staying at home with three babies..

GET ME OUT!!

 

Tales From Mamaville

 

Navigating Baby

Did you enjoy this post? You might like some of my others, so how about you have a read of  10 ‘must haves’ to survive the early days with a newborn and toddler or 10 things I wish I’d known before having children

Or if you fancy a bit of social media madness, pop over to my Facebook page where you’ll be able to have a laugh at what ridiculousness goes on in my house with three very small boys on a daily basis. Warning – there is often sarcasm, and usually swearing. There are also great travel reviews and some AWESOME giveaways. Feel free to join my Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee – Shits and Giggles Parenting Group too, where everyone shares their hilarious stories.

If you like what you see, how about you check me out on Pinterest,  Instagram and Twitter too. I’m all over the place!

And if you want to work with me, feel free to give me a shout here, and I’ll get back to you during naptime/screentime (!)

 

You may also like

22 comments

The Mad Madden's 14/02/2018 - 4:28 pm

Reblogged this on The Mad Madden's and commented:
The more I read your blog the more I think we are so scarily alike! In fact some of your stories and words could have easily fallen right out of my mouth! As you said before I wonder ARE WE actually the same person?! Lol 🤣 Keep up the good work. I love your blog…. Most entertaining 😘 xxx

Reply
Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee 14/02/2018 - 10:18 pm

Thank you – love yours too! Lots of mutual blog loving going on 🙂 x

Reply
Cooking with kids 15/02/2018 - 7:32 am

This brings back memories 😂. Fair play to you for getting out though, I used to avoid using the car as much as possible when my twins were babies. When I started my eldest 3 at preschool we were about 20 minutes late every day but by the time my eldest started school we had it nailed so don’t worry, it all somehow falls into place (though I still seem to spend a lot of time in the mornings shouting at them to get their shoes on…)

Reply
onebloggedeveryminute 17/02/2018 - 7:23 pm

Oh yes! I know this! I recently wrote a blog about similar feelings whilst on the school run with my three, always pressed for time, always running red-faced through the gate in a last-ditch attempt to beat the bell!! Lol!! Keeping going, we will get there! xxx

Reply
Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee 17/02/2018 - 11:19 pm

God knows how you do the school run, I’m dreading that! Although at least by the time I get there next year, I hopefully won’t still be wiping porridge off the walls after breakfast 😬 I’ll have a read of your blog for some tips! x

Reply
Toni 30/10/2018 - 7:46 pm

I can remember when my youngest was born and we needed to get to a wedding. It was an hour drive and so I fed the baby before we left. And as we are walking out the baby throws up every where. We didn’t make it to the wedding. What a mess.

Reply
Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee 31/10/2018 - 11:19 am

Oh no, what a nightmare! No matter how long you leave yourself to do anything, they still bugger it up, don’t they!

Reply
Unmindfulmama 31/10/2018 - 12:58 pm

I am in complete awe of you – I think I would literally just never go out for four years if I had three under three (with twins to boot), not until I legally had to take them to school at any rate! One thing I would say is that with my eldest I can bribe him a lot more to play ball, now he’s in Reception – so in some ways it does get easier – and by the time you get to the school run phase you’ll be an absolute pro! #itsok

Reply
Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee 31/10/2018 - 2:27 pm

It’s quite a lot of effort!

Reply
Nicole - Tales from Mamaville 01/11/2018 - 2:37 pm

Helen, your posts always instil a sense of awe and admiration on how you manage three under three (with twins!!!) and if I’ll be honest, also instil a little fear in me for how I will manage when Little Man gets a sibling. Said it before, saying it again – you’re a rockstar! And the fact that you’re at least attempting to get out of the house everyday should be applauded. Like Unmindfulmama said above, I doubt I would even make the effort if I was in your shoes. I’d just stick them all in front of an electronic device (#itsok, right???)! Great post yet again, and yes, once they’re older and more self-sufficient, things do ease out a bit.

Reply
Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee 01/11/2018 - 3:06 pm

Ah thank you, I don’t feel like it – shouty mum is more realistic a lot of days. But #itsok, right? 😆 There are plenty of times the iPad comes out (daily!) but I have to get out of the house every day or they drive me mad. My play dates are booked weeks in advance to make sure I’m doing something! x

Reply
Nicole - Tales from Mamaville 02/11/2018 - 10:50 am

Of course #itsok. The kindle comes out daily here too and I’ve just got one!!! Though I get you on the going-out part and playdates – an absolute sanity-saver when they’re small and need to be occupied 24/7!

Reply
Nicole - Tales from Mamaville 02/11/2018 - 10:50 am

Of course #itsok. The kindle comes out daily here too and I’ve just got one!!! Though I get you on the going-out part and playdates – an absolute sanity-saver when they’re small and need to be occupied 24/7!

Reply
kate - the Mum Conundrum 03/11/2018 - 9:13 am

Lady, you got double trouble and a toddler – its a bloody miracle you make it out AT ALL! Pour yourself a glass of wine, you need a reward! #ItsOK

Reply
Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee 03/11/2018 - 9:19 am

I can’t be staying in, I’d totally lose it!

Reply
MomOfTwoLittleGirls 05/11/2018 - 9:17 am

You are wonder women! I didn’t have twins and I still opt to stay in if I can help it because everything just takes so blady long! #itsok

Reply
Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee 05/11/2018 - 9:22 am

It does drive me insane, but I hate staying in with them all. If I do that, they’d just watch tele all day (3 year old) or trash the house even more (twins) so I ease my mum guilt by getting them out! It’s like having to take a dog for a walk 🤣 #itsok

Reply
Ashley 06/11/2018 - 9:29 pm

I thought it was hard enough with 1, let alone 3!!

Reply
Enda Sheppard 29/03/2019 - 9:49 am

You’ve just confirmed the value and existence of selective memory! I had conveniently forgotten about shifting our two around …the shivers racing up my spine have just stopped😀

Reply
Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee 29/03/2019 - 11:19 pm

Good to know I’ll forget all this one day!

Reply
Kirsty 01/04/2019 - 9:24 pm

I literally love reading your posts as it could be me writing them. It is restoring my faith in me to know it isn’t just me 🙂 As you know I am a bit further down the line with this crazy twin and singletons journey and I won’t lie to you the school run is a circus, but now that the boy are almost 8 and 6 and the twins almost 4 we have been on time for school for a whole term – woo hoo!! So my point is it does get easier – no less annoying, but less time consuming. BTW my top tip would be if you can go to a school in walking distance as getting everyone in and out of the car is always a shit show for me lol! Great to have you on the #DreamTeam

Reply
Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee 01/04/2019 - 9:28 pm

It’s so nice to know it gets easier! We bought a house less than 50m from a great school and my three year old goes to its preschool. We find out in two weeks if he’s got into the primary school. I’ll go mad if not! It literally takes two minutes to get there, even with twins in a buggy and stopping to talk to snails. Is it bad we bought the house 16 months ago basically so I never have to get everyone in the car for the school run?? (Luckily it’s a great school too 😂)

Reply

Leave a Comment

* By using this form you agree with the storage and handling of your data by this website.

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Read More

Privacy & Cookies Policy
%d bloggers like this: