Home babies “My cravings were so bad, I wanted a McDonald’s on Christmas Day.”

“My cravings were so bad, I wanted a McDonald’s on Christmas Day.”

I don’t care what people say. Being pregnant is shit.

And guess what? Being pregnant with twins is extra shit. Doubly shit in fact. Who’d have thought it, eh?

So I’d already had the hideous morning sickness, way worse than last time around, which was explained away by the fact there were two little sods inside me making me chuck up at the drop of a hat.

During my first pregnancy I felt sick constantly but was only ever physically ill twice. Oh to have that again. This time? It was grim. My sense of smell went haywire and everything made me rush to the loo, or the sink, a discreet (or not so discreet) roadside, and even a measly wet wipe on one unfortunate occasion.

The Other Half cooking our tea made me urge, even when it was something I would wolf down happily an hour later. Washing out the dregs of Toddler’s milk would be a sure fire way to make me puke, feeling hungry or eating too much would have the same affect, but the glamour hit an all time low on the couple of occasions I threw up whilst changing Toddler’s shitty nappy. God it was crap. Quite literally.

Eventually I was put on medication for the sickness, and that’s when the fun really started. The first lot of drugs did sod all, the second lot basically stopped anything from coming out of my body – from either end! And my God, that was bad. Am I actually writing about constipation for the whole of the internet to read? Hell yes. Yes I am!  The worst sickness ever was literally a walk in the park compared to what that drug did to me. As if my body wasn’t suffering enough!

And don’t even get me started on the exhaustion, piles, varicose veins (not of the leg variety), sciatica, swelling in places you didn’t even know existed from sheer extra weight and such awful pelvic pain you feel like you’re being stabbed every time you try to turn over in bed. Beached whale has never been such an apt analogy. A physio offered me crutches to help me walk, the pain was so bad. I politely declined, wondering how I was supposed to stop Toddler running into oncoming traffic whilst hobbling about on stupid sticks.

I think I deserved a medal for managing to bite my tongue when my father in law said “So you’ve had quite an easy pregnancy, then?” ARRRRGHHHH!

But it’s true what people say, pregnancy second time round however many embryos you’re growing, is a totally different ball game to the first.

First time mums-to-be (me included) indulge themselves in naps at the drop of a hat, and certainly within 2 minutes of getting home from work. If given the chance, most generally milk being pregnant for everything it’s worth, because they can. And why the hell not, I say! Second time round, as many of you will know, it’s hard to even remember you’re pregnant (apart from the sickness/piles/constipation/pelvic pain obvs) as you’re so busy dealing with the toddler at the same time.

Somehow I managed to get to 38 weeks with my twins, and all the way through it I was still chasing Toddler around my local National Trust gardens, clambering through tunnels I literally couldn’t fit into at soft play and doing all sorts of things you probably shouldn’t do whilst pregnant at Gymbubbas. A particular highlight for me was getting stuck in a mini-train carriage I’d gone on with him at a local fun farm. It was time for Toddler to fend for himself!

The other REALLY annoying thing about being pregnant with twins is how big you get so quickly. By six months I looked like I was about to burst with just one baby, and I was already fed up with the regular supermarket checkout conversations along the lines of “Wow, you’ve not got long by the looks of things.” Er, three months actually, now mind your own business and stop making me feel fat.

On the flip side, it’s safe to say the best bit about being pregnant is the cravings you have, and the f**k it attitude to eating anything and everything in sight because you’re “eating for two”. Well hello, I was eating for three and I was buggered if I wasn’t going to make the most of it.

img_1456

Ironically, the day before my morning sickness started at six weeks, I chatted to my Slimming World consultant about how to keep trim whilst pregnant – obviously only thinking there was one baba in there at that point. 24 hours later, I was chucking my guts up, and all thoughts of healthy eating went down the toilet along with my lunch. It was a case of sheer survival by then.

Tried and tested remedies for sickness such as ginger this, ginger that, blah blah blah, just weren’t doing it for me. I needed McDonald’s chips. And lots of them. My sickness wasn’t quite on the Duchess of Cambridge’s scale (and there are thousands of pregnant women who no doubt suffered way more than I did) but my cravings for McDonald’s fries were pretty much off the scale. I couldn’t drive past my local drive-thru restaurant without buying some.

Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately?) I had to drive past it to get to and from pretty much anywhere on a daily basis. It didn’t have to be at meal-times, it was any time of the day. I even drove past on Christmas Day and was actually gutted when it was closed. Looking back I think I was bordering on having a problem! It was an ongoing joke between my friends. The McDonald’s emojis were top of my recent list on whatsapp, it was that bad.

img_3510

Then salty fries eventually made way for cake. And chocolate. And biscuits. Anything sweet, so long as there was lots of it. I was eating for three, though right? I totally deserved it, and those babies needed fattening up

And I wonder why I’m currently back on Slimming World….

Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee

Navigating Baby

 

How did i do?

Did you enjoy this post? You might like some of my others, so how about you have a read of Totally Outnumbered all about finding out I was going to have three boys under three, or how the birth went in Epidurals are the best thing ever!

Or if you fancy a bit of social media madness, pop over to my Facebook page where you’ll be able to have a laugh at what ridiculousness goes on in my house with three very small boys on a daily basis. Warning – there is often sarcasm, and usually swearing. There are also great travel reviews and some AWESOME giveaways on there. Feel free to join my Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee – Shits and Giggles Parenting Group too, where everyone shares their hilarious stories.

If you like what you see, how about you check me out on Pinterest,  Instagram and Twitter too. I’m all over the place!

And if you want to work with me, feel free to give me a shout here, and I’ll get back to you during naptime/screentime (!)

You may also like

17 comments

Marie Hannaford 05/12/2017 - 3:48 pm

Fantastically funny 😂 just choked on my tea – can’t wait for the next instalment xx

Reply
Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee 05/12/2017 - 6:51 pm

Thanks Marie – don’t choke though! 😂 x

Reply
Kate Connolly 05/12/2017 - 11:09 pm

I used to walk into the house and drink Gaviscon out of the bottle. Then eat Nutella out of the jar with a teaspoon. The wobbly bottom lip if there wasn’t any Nutella was an embarrassment! And I only had the one in me.

Reply
Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee 06/12/2017 - 9:35 am

That’s hilarious! Heaven forbid there be no Nutella! 😂

Reply
Jo 09/10/2018 - 4:30 pm

I’m with you on the sweet cravings by the end. I was necking bags of Haribo like they were going out of fashion. And didn’t care about the consequences. Great post! #it’sok

Reply
Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee 09/10/2018 - 4:59 pm

I still neck bags of Haribo now and they’re 15 months. Mainly because apparently it’s not acceptable to drink wine at 2pm whilst in charge of three young children?

Reply
kate 09/10/2018 - 7:43 pm

I had a strong relentless urge to eat toast with marmite and smashed avocado when I was pregnant with number two, it was like the smuggest, hipster pregnancy craving ever. The piles were astronomical though, so, you know, swings and roundabouts…

Thanks for joining #its ok lovely, I love, like, all your stuff you know. xxx

Reply
Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee 09/10/2018 - 10:33 pm

You craved avocado, I craved Maccy Ds. I fear this may say a lot about us as people? But hey, piles are piles!
Thanks love, and thanks for having me! xx

Reply
Emma 09/10/2018 - 10:34 pm

Okay firstly 🙌🏻 for carrying twins!! I don’t know how you did it, because I’m now 39 +3 with my third and I’ve been doing some late night googling such as…’how easy is it to perform a c-section at home? ‘ and ‘is it socially acceptable to sell your eldest to make room for a new baby?’. My right foot is currently doing an amazing impression of a pufferfish and I’ve ‘named’ each of my haemorrhoids…one of the reasons I don’t like Harry as a potential name but I’ve not shared that with the hubby. And, if one more stranger says ‘you’re going to have you’re hands full’ as I’m trying to contort my bump to get a tantruming 19 month old up off the floor in Wilkos…..
#itsok

Reply
Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee 10/10/2018 - 12:40 am

Ha, thank you. Not an experience I’d particularly like to repeat, I have to say. Oh my god the pufferfish feet – mine were like it for about three weeks AFTERWARDS too! Yep, the hands full comment, all the bloody time. ALL THE TIME! I’m quite good at smiling politely whilst swearing under my breath. Good luck – probably best to let the docs do the C Section though?

Reply
Hannah Hampton 10/10/2018 - 3:06 pm

Yes! Giving in to cravings is one of the few perks of being pregnant, and its such a short timeframe you can get away with it (though it feels like a lifetime!)

Reply
Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee 10/10/2018 - 3:41 pm

I agree! I was determined to try and be good this time, then the morning sickness kicked in and by the time I found out it was twins I was well and truly off the wagon!

Reply
Nicole - Tales from Mamaville 13/10/2018 - 11:54 am

You don’t just deserve McDonalds fries Helen, you deserve a bloomin’ medal! In the shape of a McD fry, if you will. Wow – well done you (promise won’t tell you you have your hands full:)). And ouch, that seemed like a terrible pregnancy; glad you’re out the other end now.

Cravings are one thing, but when you’ve got Gestational Diabetes coupled with sweet cravings, that’s tormenting:( I had to forego the Nutella for fruit!

Thanks for sharing your constipation tales and other secrets with the #itsok family – love your humour and hope to see you as a regular on the #itsok linky love!

Reply
Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee 13/10/2018 - 2:59 pm

Mmm, maybe the constipation was a bit too much? 😂 Gestational diabetes and sweet cravings sounds like pure torture!
Thanks for having me, I’ll be here to stay! x

Reply
Nicole - T 16/10/2018 - 1:41 pm

Yayyy! Lovely!

Reply
Kirsty 17/03/2019 - 1:46 pm

Loved this post. You were essentially describing my twin pregnancy down to a tea. I had to call my eldest son’s nursery several times to say I am outside, but am being sick and so will be late to collect him whilst my younger son just ran around me in circles finding it hilarious that I was puking!! Thanks for sharing with the #DreamTeam

Reply
Twins, Tantrums and Cold Coffee 17/03/2019 - 4:07 pm

Oh no, that’s horrendous! I feel your pain.

Reply

Leave a Comment

* By using this form you agree with the storage and handling of your data by this website.

This website uses cookies to improve your experience. We'll assume you're ok with this, but you can opt-out if you wish. Accept Read More

Privacy & Cookies Policy
%d bloggers like this: